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"As I was saying, before I nailed myself in the head with that plate..."

This weekend, E and I decided to go up to his parent's house for his little brother's graduation from High School. So, we packed an overnight bag, I loaded myself up with novels, and were on the road about 7:30 Friday night, with an ETA of about 2am. This was much better than our last drive up to New England, where we didn't leave until midnight and I was pre-eet-y drunk. This time, we decided to leave ourselves a little more time. In fact, 7:30 seemed the perfect compromise between E's desire to drive while it is light out and my compulsion to only drive in the dark.

First hangup - accident on the BW parkway. So, we detour to Powder Mill where E insists he knows where he's going better than I do - so instead of getting off at 212, on I-95 -- we ended up backtracking back to the Beltway. Where there was another accident.

Needless to say, it was 9pm before we were north of Baltimore.

Instead of horrible rest stop fast food, we found a Boston Market in Newark (Thank you Jordan, for insisting I learn that "shortcut" through Elkton) and were in Delaware around 10pm.

Where it was MONSOONING.

(E insists it was a Tsunami. I'm not saying he's wrong.)

It continues to pour (as in, many many MANY accidents, hydroplaning, 40MPH flashers on, too bad the windshield wipers SUCK conditions) through New Jersey. We consider the Tappan Zee option, but neither one of us wants to risk a route we don't know in a terrible horrible rain storm. We brave the GW bridge and the cross-bronx in the storm - luckily, there were only about 8 other idiots on the road with us all the way through Connecticuit. (E and I also already have our rest stop rhythm down for the way up - Joyce Kilmer for gas, Fairfield for a stretch, the rest stop on 91 for a bathroom break, etc) It is good that so few cars are on the road because it is STILL monsooning. Absolutely POURING rain. It rains through CT, all the road changes, the Mass Pike, Worcester, and then finally home. Where we RUN into the house to not soak ourselves.

Yes, it is 5am. Joy.

We crawl into bed(s - ok, he crawls into bed and I crawl onto trundle) and I (as usual) read until late and wake up early. Luckily, this case, early was 9ish and we were both up by 10:30ish.

First thing I do in the morning? Manage to offend E's mom over her new coffeemaker.

I? Didn't realize it was a big deal, since E's mom did not say anything at the time. No, she waited until almost all of E's extended family was around to bring up the fact that I insulted her coffeemaker.

(Me: plotting revenge. probably on cruise.)

(Cruise? Whole other story)

Saving grace of new coffeemaker? Means that E's mom has CAFFIENATED coffee in house.

The family has enough fruit and cheese trays to feed an army. An army, that due to the weather, has been reduced to one uncle, one grandmother (I think I'll call her G-Mae) and the five of us.

(E rescues me by insulting his mother over the ice bucket)

Off to graduation we go, in a Zipcar minicooper(! have I mentioned how much I love E's uncles? I'm sure I will as the Cruise to Nowhere approaches). However, due to the weather, the outdoor graduation was scrapped in favor of a ticketed affair in the auditorium. Which, we are short 2 tickets for. I was all for heading over to the restaurant early and pre-gaming, but in the interest of family unity (and the fact that we did not drive ourselves), we camped out for the closed-circuit graduation viewing in the cafeteria. Which would have worked out well, if there was audio.

Ah well. I needed to take the practice ACT anyway.

Plus, that made us miss the 6 (!) student graduation speakers.

Off to a celebratory dinner (where E's mom orders wine, giving me the green light to drink as well) with two uncles, a grandmother, and his brother's girlfriend. Who is adorable, well meaning and very cute. But very....young. VERY young. So young, that I was forced to look back at my childhood and evaluate...nope. Still was NEVER that young.

Entertainment? She ordered the house salad for her dinner entree - telling me that it is clearly a Rite of Passage - first meal with a boyfriends family? Only order the salad and eat only half of it.

(Afterwards, E's mother and I bonded over the fact that we were never that young. Still does not negate earlier coffeemaker incident and the subsequent need for revenge. I'll keep you posted)

Home again, Home again - time to evaluate side trips for the Cruise to Nowhere. We discover that as much as E's father has been pestering us to select our side excursions, the rest of E's family has hardly looked at them. Only one we know for sure? A family-wide trip to the brewery. E's uncles will bike there - we will take the bus.

Sunday morning, we chat and make motions to get on the road. Since driving to Cambridge from MiddleOfNowhere, MA is shorter than driving from DC, we decide to visit Mar/Char (I need a better one, i know) on the way home. Which, mind you, we have done on the previous two trips from MA. I will be so sad as they move to LA, as that will cut them off of our driving loop.

We chat about families, weddings, crime fighting dolphins and the like. I probably committ a faux pas as the first thing I do after hugging Char is to look at the ring, but a girl is allowed to be curious, right?

We then decide to go out for Indian food, since it seemed better than Bertuccis. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of said Indian food (I had a lovely paneer dish, E had a passable vindaloo) and dinner was going quite well until I nailed my head on a plate. Which the waiter was holding. Which I managed to chip. WITH MY FORHEAD.

Yes, sports fans. Eating out can be hazardous to my health. And the sanity of waiters EVERYWHERE.

So, bleeding profusely from my forhead, I leave the restaurant to collect myself. Char comes out to make sure I'm not losing it in Harvard Square, and I'm not sure whether she is happy to see I am laughing hysterically, or wondering why they just CANNOT TAKE ME ANYWHERE.

We pay, bandage myself, and go back to their place for Advil and farewells.

The trip home is much less eventful, but I do have several Action Steps for myself from now on.

1. When E and I do this drive as a family, I want to plan one tourist-y stop on every drive. Possibly by going back to collecting pamphlets and drawing an option out of a hat - when else would we have an opportunity to visit the Mystic Seaport, or the Barnum Family Museum?

2. I love maps so much that upon birth of my children I will give them at atlas. Then, I will highlight the trips we take on said atlas, and when E is not on the car, let the child(ren) plot out alternate routes to take.

3. Devise subtle revenge for coffemaker.

4. And the most important? AVOID RESTAURANTS WITH SQUARE PLATES.

Labels: Canadian Family, humor

posted by kate @ 6/05/2006 05:06:00 AM