So Lend Our Voices only to sounds of freedom
Or do you?
Today was so frustrating overall. So much turmoil that the "Doing Favors" desk is still closed. I even turned down a favor that I will feel guilty about. But then again, I feel guilty for not being a foster mother. Stupid Catholic guilt.
In the face of that frustration, I decided I wanted some anti-social time and some renewal. So, I could have done my Cobra breaths (and I did, but I'm having trouble feeling the energy like I did two days after the Tantra workshop or in the moment I had in the workshop-stupid being able to do those as Laurie's people had really raged up the energies in the house) (energies? kate, you really did have too much wine) (yeah, shut up kate, that's part of the fun-and I did really feel it!) (ah, go yab yum, whatever) but I decided I wanted something more dramatic. So, I watched the daily show, cleaned out my tub, and settled in for a wonderful bath. It took a lot of preparation - I purchased a bottle of wine, picked up my wineglasses from JessaAndGorgos, found the bath scenty-things Mark and Charlotte gave me, dug out my candles, an ashtray, and three books - nonfiction, fiction, and the bible, just to cover any vagrance of mood - and got my CD player and appropriate music (Jewel's spirit, since I didnt want to borrow a classical CD from J&G and 88.1 was playing jazz. That should lead to a bath that is clearly not going to meet expectations - but it really gave me the quiet and renewal I needed. Now, I'm vaguely positively introspective (for those of you that wondered, I polished off half the wine and the fiction) and I'm marvelously comfortable and relaxed, despite having a very small bathtub. If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all.
But now, I'm here, and prior to going to bed, I'm just thinking of people I'd like to talk to again. You see, I saw Alissa and Ellie for the first time in years this week. So therefore, my mind turns to people that I haven't seen in an even longer time, probably for even poorer reasons. Except in these cases, its not just seeing so much as talking to. I'll post the list at some other time, because I'm going to make a few reaches this week, to try to reestablish real communication.
But now, after my bath, as I'm about to go finish my glass of wine and head to bed, I do have one regret - that I didn't buy more into the tantra atmosphere. And that I couldn't convince other people that the tantra atmosphere wasn't what I thought it was on first glance (granted, my sense of humor intervened, and my sense of the ironic took over, but even though I love and see the humor behind me - going to a tantra workshop, I wish I could have gotten what everyone else got out of it). Eh, maybe working for her isn't so weird after all.
Well everyone - Namaste and enjoy yourselves!
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